Several years ago, Dr. Tony Evans ( http://www.tonyevans.org/ ) spoke to a large gathering of men here in Dallas. When men of wisdom and experience speak, it’s good for us younger men to stop what we’re doing and LISTEN! Here’s an excerpt from that talk that left an indelible imprint on my mind, heart and spirit:
Dr. Tony Evans of the Urban Alternative told a parable about a newlywed man whose bride is injured in a car accident. Evans said the bridegroom sees a house with a sign outside that says “Dr. John Smith.” But when the young man goes to the door for help, Dr. Smith says he is retired from medicine — to which the bridegroom angrily responds, “Then take down your sign!” Dr. Evans told pastors that if their churches do not help people in need, they too should take down their signs.[/quote]
Wow, that’s powerful imagery and good for all of us to consider when we broadcast our thoughts, attitudes or actions onto others. Remember, too, that much of our communication is nonverbal which means that oftentimes people are “hearing” us loud and clear EVEN when we’re not speaking.
I see this often when personal trainers put their list of credentials and areas of expertise on a business card or bio and then get mediocre results in those areas of fitness & nutrition. The reason? They’re desperate for business and willing to do most anything (ethical or not) to grow their business. Some are even encouraged to do this by their boss (manager) for the “greater good” of the company. This ends up being for the “lesser good” of the consumer investing in the service(s).
At the National Personal Training Institute this is EXACTLY what we preach against over and over. The customer should always come first and that means we endeavor to provide great and honest service to the best of our ability. If you advertise certain traits or characteristics, you should strive to grow in and promote those qualities. Hypocrisy really turns people off. Practicing what you preach is critical in gaining the respect of others.
I remember a mentor once told me his secret to offering correction to someone. CRC, or commend + recommend + commend. The idea is to soften any perceived “criticism” (which can occur if someone has a natural defense toward feeling inferior or wrong about things) by surrounding a critique with an opening statement of positivity and a concluding compliment about that person’s ability. This really causes us to reconsider how we interact with others.
Before uttering something about another person, ask yourself 3 questions; is it true? Is it fair? Is it necessary?